A teacher once advised me against remembering the compliments I have received from people, because it gets into one’s head and turn them into an arrogant person.
Fuck off, I say. Well, indirectly, of course. That teacher obviously had never been in a position where you see nothing good about being yourself, and that there is no point in going on with life.
I believe compliments exist for a reason. One simply cannot just shake them off; embrace them, express your gratitude. I know that my point was easier said than done, but please try and try again.
The following are some of the most endearing compliments I have received throughout my life. For these kind words I am forever in debt:
1. Every girl needs a fabulous gay friend and mine told me that “If I were a girl, then I would definitely be you.”
2. A junior in university told me that “I really like your style, your attitude, and your views about life.”
3. A teacher in high school complimented me for “not being easily affected by both competitions and friendships”.
4. “You have a sharp katana.” (Not sure what the sword implies, but thanks, mucchandesu)
5. “Brutal honesty with the heart of a poet, the next Amanpour” (There were days when people in Facebook said the most beautiful things.)
6. ‘When the mood is right, you are actually one of the most kindhearted and loving girl there is” (Two times lover, former fiance, and best friend for 20 years said so)
Those are the compliments that keep me alive in my darkest days. There are times when my insecurities got the better of me, and knowing that for at least six times in my life I was able to touch people by simply being myself is such a great relief. Perhaps I am not that useless after all. Perhaps I have done something good. Perhaps my existence means a thing.
Compliments may have ulterior motive, but who cares? All that mattered is how they make you feel. What people actually want behind them is none of our business.
So, please, start remembering every compliments you have received in life. I know that it is not going to be easy for we are accustomed to keep things down low for the sake of ‘humility’, whatever it means. Even when it means putting yourself down-low so that others can feel superior about themselves.
But for once in our life, let’s wear a massive furry cape and stand tall on top of the building like Loki did, and remember how great it is to feel good about yourself.
We deserve it.