One thing I learnt about battling depression, sadness, anxiety, and its relatives is that they get better once you decided to go out and share yourself with others.Difficult? Of course it is difficult. I was at a point when I would put the hood of my jacket on when I walk in the mall. And was struggling to get up from bed everyday. But happiness is something I would willingly suffer for.
I wish I had a scientific explanation to this. All I can say is that perhaps the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ principle applies to this; when you do not focus on it too much, it seems to just disappear.
So my suggestion is to not burn bridges.
I am constantly being ridden by feeling guilty - and undeserving - of going out and having fun. It is like there is this feeling of never getting to work hard enough to deserve break time.
This is why you should always try to be efficient and disciplined since the beginning of your life. So you do not make unnecessary mistakes, and create a vicious cycle of having to make up for your mistakes.
I may have been sabotaging myself but I know this is true.
I need to work harder than this.
Congratulating the self for passing the first quarter of a lifetime.
It has been crazy, happy, hilarious, touching, painful, meaningful, and every adjective you can think of at the moment.
But for the time being, blessed would be enough.